That’s So Retrograde

First and foremost, I apologize for any typos this entry may contain. I’m usually the first to spot and fix misspellings and other keyboard errors, but my computer decided its ‘i’ and ‘o’ shouldn’t adhere to the functionality of every other letter and symbol. (That just came out as “symbool,” if you’re wondering what I mean.)

But issues of that very type are at the heart of today’s topic, because Mercury is retrograde.

If you have no idea what that means, you’re very lucky and I’m sorry. You’re lucky to have lived this long without experiencing—or perhaps only realizing—the many effects of a planet appearing to move backwards. And I’m sorry for ruining that sense of calm with the many words below.

Long story short, Mercury is the Roman god of travel, communication and finances. So when the planet bearing his name seems out of wack, those spheres and other tangential areas follow suit.

I’d venture 90% of people think that’s all baloney, the chaos is in everyone’s head, and there’s no way one planet’s OPTICAL ILLUSION could have physical effects on a totally separate world.

All of those people are wrong.

And I’m not usually one to pore over astrology, I promise. I couldn’t tell you when one sign ends and another begins—my own included—let alone the defining characteristics of humans born during a certain constellation rising or whatever.

But I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve felt off—like, “did I take crazy pills?” off—only to learn that damn planet was playing tricks again.

Everyone experiences Mercury retrograde differently. Uncooperative electronics is one of the more common symptoms, as is poor communication and the ensuing frustration, which is why I like to know when we’re due. It helps temper expectations and save me from getting real annoyed with just about everyone.

This time, however, I didn’t see it coming. So when last week felt extra weird, rather than blame it on outer space, I just internalized all the crazy, grew increasingly exasperated with society as a whole, and ultimately stayed home from work on Friday for actual health reasons.

BUT EVEN THEN, I failed to consider external factors and crept towards acceptance. Acceptance of my fate as a lady who just can’t handle the typical stresses of everyday life, and feels there’s no other option but to draw the curtains, drink a lot of tea and mindlessly navigate Netflix because that’s really all my brain could manage at the time.

It was very doomsday. Not the healthiest or most optimistic, by any means. And I’m not proud! I was just too exhausted from trying to keep up with everyone and everything.

Work chats to a number of colleagues went unacknowledged for nearly the entire week. Attempts to casually chat with friends and family ended as quickly as they began. More than once, I forgot an entire thought in the middle of writing down a note to myself. (That just came out as “nootoe”—what?)

And sure, that all seems normal enough. Everyone has those days, right? But then I had a borderline panic attack over missing a fitness class. Because right at that moment, I couldn’t imagine a world where I’d ever have time to attend not only that session, but also every future session I’d booked. Cancelling my membership and getting my money back was THE most important thing approx. 30 minutes before the class was scheduled to begin.

God bless the woman on the other end of that email.

I couldn’t make sense of any of it. The best way to explain how I felt was that the thinking part of my brain was completely disconnected from the doing part. Then a group chat with friends lit up:

You guys ever have those days where you just hate everyone for either petty or no apparent reason? lol

It’s a smaller chat, only three of us, but we were all in the exact same boat at the exact same time, and it wasn’t until the next day that I put it all together.

Mercury is retrograde, and will be until next Thursday.

So be kind to yourself. Be patient with others. And be ready when it does this same shit in February.


It’s all about maintaining (Super)position.


2 thoughts on “That’s So Retrograde

  1. Alli, 1) can I say SO very happy you’re posting again( I get it, life, marriage etc) 2) Mercury in retrograde is real-come work on the clerical side of medicine-HOLY CRAP!, it’s REAL!! Thanks for being there😊


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