I just don’t have it in me.
As much as I love reading other bloggers’ chronicles of amazing deals and cutie outfits, browsing their entirely-too-perfect Insta feeds and clicking hundreds of links like I’m actually going to spend money, I’ll never be one of them.
Why? Too many reasons to count—but we can try!
First, and perhaps most importantly, I am one of the least fashionable people you will ever meet.
Every season, without fail, I’ll lock in on 3-4 favorite tops, 1-2 bottoms and maybe two pairs of shoes. And that’s it. That’s all you’ll see me wear for the next four months.
That could be because I care about comfort 100 times more than how an outfit looks, but it’s also because I am super cheap.
Let that be Reason No. 2 I’ll never be a fashion blogger: I feel like it costs a lot of money? Like, the number of tops one blogger photographs in a WEEK far exceeds the number of tops I own in a two-year span.
And I want to get this out of the way early (though I’ll likely say it often)—I am in no way knocking on the people who choose this hobby, because clearly I love watching them do it! I just don’t understand how it’s done.
Money aside, do you realize how much time goes into those feeds? Perfectly arranging a million outfits on 20 different surfaces in your home (with just the right light, I might add) and editing your favorites to pair with a caption that *could* be a carbon copy of the last Insta you shared, but heck no we’re not cutting corners anywhere, especially not with the words that make your posts yours.
In a good way!
I honestly admire the people who do this well. And envy them like no other. But mostly admire.
Their feeds are so perfectly compiled! The palettes intentional, the graphics consistent and the clothing practically made for them.
Which brings me to my next excuse.
I don’t photograph that well.
(Or well at all?)
It doesn’t matter how I crop or contrast or angle one hip just so—not only do I personally never look that put together, but clothes never look that good on me.
It’s like each item was made for that blogger, it all fits so perfectly. Which always makes me want to buy the thing until I remember their bodies have fewer bones or something and I’m kidding myself if I think I can pull of any one piece of the outfit, let alone the whole thing.
BUT AGAIN, I think those who can are badass.
They have total confidence in their style and those pictures and what they’re doing with the internet—and you cannot hate that.
Believe me, I’ve tried.
Never more so than anytime I watch a story.
This might be the biggest reason I not only can’t but won’t get into the fashion blog game.
Yes, the still photos are amazing and their aggregated links with an alarming awareness of every possible sale are just as impressive. But oh my gosh, you guys. The stories are painful.
“SooooOOOoOoo I wanted these Nikes the first time I saw them but they didn’t have my size and now they have my size so I got them and I’m so excited.”
Watch. Out. Shakespeare.
That’s mean, I’m sorry. But we just saw the sneakers in a really beautiful photo with your heathered joggers and a purse I’d never pair with any athletic attire but somehow you managed to make it look totally normal.
Is the video necessary? I’m never totally sure.
But if it makes the blogger happy and the majority of her followers dig it (which I’m sure they do!), who am I to be a butthead?
Nobody. I am nobody.
I am not and never will be a fashion blogger.
But I love the heck out of those who are.
Set trends to the sweet sounds of Ella Eyre.